When Breath Becomes Air
“This was the life he was given, and this is what he made of it” (Lucy Kalanithi).
There was so much to unravel in this book that I find myself still thinking about its contents days after reading this. This story is a memoir of Paul Kalanithi, a top neurosurgeon diagnosed with cancer during the last year of his residency training. Here is a brief background for some readers on neurosurgeons. You must complete a 4-year undergraduate degree, four years of medical school, and complete training in neurosurgery, which is seven years. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it must be to be at the top of a mountain you climbed up for 15 years just to get hit with a bombshell like cancer.
On the surface, this is a story of a dying man’s life. As an aspiring physician myself, I am in complete awe when I hear the word neurosurgeon. The amount of dedication, resilience, and training it takes is intense. Yet, Paul shows his humanism growing up and figuring out what he wants to do with his life. His desire to find his purpose in life, his brief relationship troubles, and his satisfaction to learn and grow make him normal. He could have written this in a pompous, know-all, I am a neurosurgeon and we are God's types of the way, but he didn’t. Paul was firm in his knowledge and heartfelt in his gaps and insecurities.
What makes this book so impactful, and what you have to keep in mind, is Paul wrote this as he was dying. His actions, beliefs, thoughts, and values changed as he tried to understand how he should live as he was actively dying.
“even if I’m dying, until I actually die, I am still living” (Paul Kalanithi).
Cancer does not see race, sexuality, degrees, money, or purpose. It is a thief of time, and as we journey with Paul in his final years, we can witness Paul’s resilience to have the best life he could have while grappling with exactly what he wanted in his final days. His strength and courage were humbling. Paul made his mark on society and continues to do so through his final written words.
“What happened to Paul was tragic, but he was not a tragedy” (Lucy Kalanithi).
